September 2008 Leesburg Chapter
Love Gifts
Thank you to Becky Reeder for her love gift in memory of her son, Jeremy Joseph Reeder (12/5/92 – 8/12/93)
It’s September
It’s September. I feel that it is one of the toughest months for a grieving parent. This month evokes a multitude of emotions due to the fact that school is now back in session. Depending on the age of your child at the time of his or her death, you may remember school days passed or dream about school days that could have been. For some of us, we recall a combination of both. I hope that you are able to one day, remember these times and dreams with more joy than sadness.
For me, it makes sense that this is my last newsletter. It will be the fifth anniversary of Adam’s death on September 25th. While the intense pain is subsiding, the “missing” is great. I think of Adam daily. I know that the cliché saying “life goes on” is brutally true. Life around us did not pause during our darkest days. We somehow emerged to brighter days, but our lives rearranged. We created new traditions, we made new friends and we helped some of our old friends learn how they could help us. Most importantly, we learned that there is no right or wrong way to grieve.
I sincerely hope that each of you may find the will to live a meaningful life. Although it will be drastically different from the life you once knew, you did not die when your child died. There will be days you wish you had, I know, but keep finding your way, one day at a time.
Again, thank you for the many emails and phone calls of support that I have received over the years.
Peace,
Theresa Heitz
In loving memory of Adam (6/24/82 – 9/25/03)
“Every sunset brings us peace.
Every sunrise brings us hope.”
~ Kem Lee Sun
Life Long To-Do List
What do you think you would say if you were asked to list the top three things on your “Life Long To-Do List”? While reading a recent issue of “Real Simple” magazine, I read an article that asked just that question. There were many responses and I’d like to share a few of them with you.
One person wrote: “Hold My Children. Hold My Children’s Children. Hold My Children’s Children’s Children.”
Wow. I closed my eyes and paused. I thought about how much I missed Adam. I miss everything about him. I’m beginning to reach back through the pain and remember more of the joy that Adam brought into our lives. I miss his silly expressions, his crazy old cars, and his guitar serenades.
I read on. Another person wrote: “See my children grow up to be great adults.”
I began to think about Adam’s short adulthood. He suffered from depression and drug addiction. He did not have the chance to grow into a “great” adult. He desperately struggled and our entire family suffered along with him. My mind began to drift and I thought that maybe I should skip to a different magazine. Instead, I decided to read on.
Here was a good one: “Tuck myself in a little cottage on the coast of Maine and spend my time writing a novel.” And yet another: “See the Northern Lights.”
I enjoyed reading these peaceful requests. I long for time away from our hectic daily activities where I’m constantly trying to squeeze myself back into a world where I often feel out of place.
I skimmed the rest of the article until I found my favorite: “Because life comes at you fast: Live in the moment. Live in the moment. Live in the moment.”
I suppose I found this “To-Do List” to be so interesting because had I read this article five years earlier, I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.
I will close with my own “Life Long To-Do List”.
1- Feel peace again.
2- Find joy again.
3- Find the energy to be the mom I want to be to our surviving children.
~Theresa Heitz, Leesburg Editor
