May 2008 Newsletter
~We understand how difficult it is to reach out for help,
especially in those early months after the death of your child, grandchild or
sibling. Although each circumstance is unique, we all share the unfathomable
pain of losing a child. When a child dies, one’s life does not return to “normal”
and we continue to find a “new normal”. Leesburg TCF hopes to be an ongoing
source of support. Our group meets the first Wednesday of each month.
We extend a warm welcome to:
Andretta McCray, mother of Elijha Harper 9/29/07 – 9/29/07
Wynnie Myers, mother of Ashley Myers 6/12/88 – 1/28/07
Jay and Michelle Thomas, parents of Brooke Thomas 12/6/07 – 12/6/07
Rhett and Patty Wade, parents of Nicole Wade 5/22/79 – 9/24/07
Kay McGraw, mother of Erica Lynn (Lucy) McGraw 8/17/82 – 10/5/07
Bertha Lozano, mother of Jose Roberto Lozano 11/28/80 – 5/14/99
Natalie Parkinson, mother of Renee Parkinson 10/26/80 – 7/4/07
The Reminder
I catch my breath; I place my hand over my heart,
As I watch him walk into the sandwich shop.
He carries himself just the way you did.
He wears a cap.
It looks just like yours.
He has hair on his face that reminds me of your face.
I watch as he orders his food.
I watch as he holds his hand out for his “to go” bag.
He turns to leave.
I drop my eyes.
I do not want him to see me staring.
I realize, except for my eyes, I have not moved.
I look around to see if anyone notices my peculiar behavior.
It has been a year since I saw your face
Or heard your “Hey Mom!”
I look at the next young man entering the shop.
He doesn’t remind me of you – at all.
@2002 M. Phillips
A Mother’s Love
I
didn’t have to look into your eyes to fall in love with you.
I
didn’t have to hear you cry to know you loved me too.
I
didn’t need to hold your hand to cherish you always.
Within
my womb we shared our hearts.
You
touched my soul.
You
sweetened my spirit.
You
gave me memories I’ll always hold dear.
Yes,
my heart aches since you departed too soon.
But
a mother’s love doesn’t end with death.
For
you are my child and my love is forever yours.
~Author
Unknown
Mother's
Day Revisited
Many
of us in TCF do not look forward to Mother's Day. On this holiday, when the
whole nation is celebrating the joys of parenthood, grieving parents often feel
a special anguish.
Mother's
Day this year looms as particularly difficult milestone for me. Sunday, May 10, 1998 is not only Mother's Day but
also the second anniversary of the death of my ten-year-old son, Jacob. Because
this day of private sadness also happens to be a day of public celebration, I
decided that I should start thinking early about the occasion. I engaged in a
little research about the holiday and learned a story that I think is worth
sharing.
Mother's
Day was the creation of a woman named Anna Jarvis in the early years of this
century. Anna, who never married and never had children of her own, devoted
herself to establishing a national Mother's Day as a way of honoring her beloved
mother, who died on May 9, 1905. In Anna's view,
her mother deserved a memorial because she had lived selflessly and endured
considerable suffering-seven of her eleven children had died in early
childhood. According to historians, Anna's mother mourned the deaths of her
children throughout her life.
Anna
insisted that the holiday always fall on a Sunday so that it would retain its
spiritual moorings. Because of her efforts, President Woodrow Wilson finally
proclaimed the second Sunday in May as Mother's Day. Although Anna couldn't
prevent the new holiday from quickly becoming a marketing phenomenon, she did
try. Speaking out against "the mire of commercialization" that
threatened to engulf Mother's Day, Anna attempted to preserve her creation as a
true "holy day," a time for solemn reflection and prayer.
Mother's
day, then, was borne of a daughter's grief and love more importantly, it was
intended as a tribute to a bereaved mother-a brave woman who lost multiple
children but who managed to live with an abiding kindness and generosity toward
others. I like knowing this background, and my attitude towards Mother's Day
has been colored by the knowledge.
The
holiday now makes me think of the common sorrow that links all bereaved
parents. I feel a bond with Anna's mother that stretches over time and space.
In a broader sense, the woman for whom the holiday was founded reminds me of
people I've met at TCF who have continued to live productive, meaningful lives
in the face of unthinkable loss. Finally, Mother's Day in its origins
symbolizes both the joy and the vulnerability inherent in parenthood. Anna's
mother knew all too well that from the moment a child is born, hope and the
possibility of tragedy go hand in hand. She understood the fragility of life.
Enriched
by its own history, Mother's Day is easier for me to tolerate. The coincidence
of dates this year-Mother's Day and the anniversary of my son's death-is not as
jarring as it once seemed. Although the commercial images of the modern
Mother's Day still make me wince, I can turn off the television and envision
the kind of day that Anna Jarvis had in mind: a time for quiet reflection and
the sharing of cherished memories.
~Barbara
Atwood
Prayer
for Spring
Like
springtime, let me unfold and grow fresh and anew, from this cocoon of grief
that has been spun around me. Help me face the harsh reality of sunshine and
renewed life, as my bones still creak from the winter of my grief. Life has
dared to go on around me, and as I recover from the insult of life’s continuance,
I readjust my focus to include recovery and growth as a possibility in my
future. Give me strength to break out of the cocoon of my grief. But may I
never forget it is the place where I grew my wings, becoming a new person
because of my loss. ~Janice H. TCF, Coquitlam, BC Canada/Portland,
OR
~Thanks
to Burton Simonds who is creating a website for our chapter. Please take a
moment to visit www.tcfleesburg.org.
